I’m A Chef and I’m Sober
I have been a Chef for almost 20 years and have worked in the restaurant/hospitality industry for 31 years. The industry is notoriously known for its “work hard, play hard” philosophy. The shifts are generally long as well as physically and mentally demanding. A lot of workers turn to substances when the shift ends to try and decompress and numb the anxiety, including myself.
As I got older I started to notice the hangovers lasting a little longer. I didn’t like the person I was when I was drinking and I didn’t like the way it seemed to exacerbate the anxiety I already had just from working in this field and existing in the world. I wanted to quit drinking but I didn't think I could. I mean, I worked in F&B, Food AND BEVERAGE. I am a chef that hosts dinners where people expect wine pairings and craft cocktails. Social media is full of photos of people toasting with rocks glasses and sitting at a table with a plate of exquisite food and a glass of wine. At some point I stopped caring about the industry and started caring about me. Drinking was making everything in my life harder, and I had to be honest with myself about that.
I was scared before quitting that it would be isolating. How would I celebrate with friends without alcohol? What about all the gatherings that happen at bars? Could I be a chef that didn’t pair my food with the perfect glass of wine? An incredible thing has happened in the last 10 years and it’s that the non-alcoholic beverage industry is BOOMING. In the culinary world that has meant that people are looking for healthy alternatives like herbal botanical drinks to pair with food. Non-alcoholic wines, beers and spirits can be found on many of today’s menus. A lot of people are planning more inclusive sober events. It’s hard to find someone that doesn’t have a story of the devastating effect that alcohol has had on themself or someone in their life.
I did lose some friends when I quit drinking but I also gained a lot of new sober friends. I do still feel awkward when I’m at a collaborative event with other chefs and I’m the only one that’s not finishing the night by toasting my wine glass with everyone. None of this is worse than the harmful effect that alcohol had on my health and my life. These days I’m loving leaning into helping plan fun sober events with likeminded folks. The amount of celebrity chefs in the past 10 years or so that have spoken publicly about sobriety is astounding and inspiring. There is a real movement happening where people want their social experience in dining and drinking to also be nourishing and I’m very excited to be a part of that. It’s my hope to inspire others in my industry to have more events that are fun and safe and inclusive to the growing sober community and anyone who wants to participate in spaces where alcohol is not the main event. Instead of feeling nervous and isolated in sobriety I now feel empowered and excited for what the future holds.
Melissa Rebholz